When I got here, I thought I might never leave. Ex-pat! Me! Yes! I couldn’t even dream of it, though, because I was told by my doctor that I had to return to the States within three months to renew a psychiatric prescription or else my “case” would be closed. If it closed, then I returned and reopened my case, I might not get the same psychiatrist – the only psychiatrist in the SLO county mental health system who prescribes this particular medication. I was fucked, stuck in another kind of psychiatric hold, and entrapped by the snare of the U.S. pharmaceutical drug ring. I couldn’t ex-pat because of my health… or could I?
Cut to la farmácia. My blood pressure medication cost $2.50USD when I ran out and bought more. They didn’t carry the time-released one, but I would be OK. Yes, they have my thyroid medication in case I run out. Lamotrigine? Yes, they have that, too. The brain med. I could live in Mexico! I never had to go back to see that doctor again! (They also sell Viagra – the little Mexican cartoon guy with a boner advertises it outside the pharmacies. Isn’t this a Catholic country?)
I hadn’t had my teeth cleaned in years, so I dropped into the dentist’s and had them shine me up. It was like going to the car wash/auto detail place. The noises of the tools! The hosing off of each set of teeth after he buffed them out! Oh, and I got fitted for a mouthguard because I grind my teeth: 1000 pesos. That’s like fifty bucks. Fill cavities? 1000 pesos each. But I have twelve, he said, so maybe not today. Twelve cavities? Really? Mmm, not now, gracias. Teeth cleaning? 900 pesos. That’s like $45USD. That guy’s doing some bizness in downtown Los Barriles, I tell you what. My jaw feels weird tonight. Could I have an infection? Were those tools clean? Sterile? I think I saw his assistant washing them in the sink as I left. I wasn’t asked to sign any waivers – there’s no record of my patronage – oh, wait! He took that impression of my teeth for the mouth guard. Evidence. It’s cool.
Is my paranoia so American?
Tomorrow I poop in a cup and take it to East Cape Medical Clinic where, for 250 pesos, they will sample my stool for parasites: giardia, dwarf tapeworm, all the things that make you sick. That’s, like, twelve dollars. Then the medicine is, like, four dollars.
The US pharmaceutical industry is the largest in the world, folks. No other country spends as much as the States on prescription medication. What else are they overcharging us for? Simply being alive?
I might ex-pat, but not this spring. I got stuff to do in California Norte. A one way ticket, SLO to Cabo, costs about $250USD right now. In case you’re interested in another way to live. Just sayin’.